"Who" vs "Whom": The Simple Subject-Object Trick
Who vs whom made simple — the he/him trick, when to use each, and why whom is disappearing from everyday English.
“Whom” is fading from everyday spoken English. In casual conversation, almost everyone says “who” for everything. But exams still test the distinction, and formal writing still requires it.
The good news: the trick to getting it right is simpler than you think.
This is the easiest way to choose between “who” and “whom”:
- Answer the question in your mind using “he” or “him.”
- If “he” works → use who (subject).
- If “him” works → use whom (object).
(Notice: he = who; him = whom. Same letters.)
Who/Whom is coming to the party? → He is coming. → Who is coming.
Who/Whom did you invite? → I invited him. → Whom did you invite.
The man who/whom I met was kind. → I met him. → The man whom I met was kind.
The man who/whom called was angry. → He called. → The man who called was angry.
“Who” performs the action. It is the subject of the clause.
Who wrote this letter?
The person who called yesterday is my boss.
I don’t know who is responsible.
Who wants to go first?
In each case, “who” is doing the action: writing, calling, being responsible, wanting.
“Whom” receives the action. It is the object of a verb or preposition.
Whom did you see at the mall? (object of “see”)
The woman whom I interviewed was impressive. (object of “interviewed”)
To whom should I address this letter? (object of preposition “to”)
With whom did you go? (object of preposition “with”)
In informal English, “who” is often used even for objects:
“Who did you give it to?” (informal)
“Who did you see?” (informal)
These are widely accepted in speech and casual writing. But in formal writing and exams, “whom” is expected for objects.
A common compromise is to avoid “whom” by restructuring the sentence:
Formal: Whom did you invite?
Informal: Who did you invite?
Restructured: Which people did you invite?
The trick works even in complex sentences. Just isolate the relevant clause:
The student who/whom the teacher praised worked hard. → The teacher praised him. → whom the teacher praised.
The student who/whom everyone thinks will win is my friend. → Everyone thinks he will win. → who everyone thinks will win.
In the second example, “who” is correct because it is the subject of “will win,” even though it appears after “everyone thinks.”
Incorrect: Whom is at the door?
Correct: Who is at the door?
“He is at the door” → who (subject).
Informal: Who did you send it to?
Formal: Whom did you send it to? / To whom did you send it?
Incorrect: The person whom is responsible
Correct: The person who is responsible.
“He is responsible” → who (subject).
- ______ is your favourite teacher?
- ______ did you vote for?
- The candidate ______ won was unexpected.
- To ______ did you speak?
- She is the person ______ I was talking about.
- Who — subject (“he is your favourite teacher”)
- Whom — object (“I voted for him”)
- who — subject (“he won”)
- whom — object of preposition “to”
- whom — object (“I was talking about him”)
- Who = subject (he/she). Performs the action.
- Whom = object (him/her). Receives the action.
- The substitution trick: if “he” works → who; if “him” works → whom.
- In exams, use “whom” for objects. In casual speech, “who” is increasingly acceptable for everything.